How it all began............

     When I was a little girl I always pictured my knight riding in on his white horse, stealing me away to his castle where he would love and pamper me for the rest of my life. Forget the white picket fence and dog in the yard.........I wanted a castle.  My dreams of becoming a princess who was pampered in love were broken by my brother, three years older, and his friends who asked me if I knew what a blow job was. Being the ripe age of fifteen I told him of course I knew what one was. When he asked me how many times I had given one, I wanted to sound like a pro, I said hundreds. I mean really, how hard could something called a b.j. be? I immediately wanted to know what exactly this meant and ran to my mom to ask her......needless to say I never got my answer, I never gave a hundred of them, and I realized that my prince was not going to come riding up on a horse. Instead reality hit and I dated the toads that lived under the castle in the pond scum.

     Three years ago, a guy did come into my life who caught my attention. We became good friends and every time he tried I would not let him kiss me. I was dating a guy who is the example of what to much drinking can do to you. I didn't realize if you have to drink to just be around someone then you should probably put the drink down and not date him. My first hint should have been the leather vest and the bald spot but he paid for my shots of goldschlager so I was happy. When I met Mike, the guy who I became good friends with, he tried to kiss me over and over and I denied him every single time. Then I went over to his house one day and he didn't even try to kiss me, I got home that night (very irratated) and text him asking why he had not tried to kiss me and he said because you won't let me. My response: I would have let you tonight. Now I know why men will never understand women even though I am one. Three years ago, after many ups and downs that will have to be another blog, my husband and I got married. Three months later we got pregnant. I was ecstatic to become a mom and feared for my life at the same time. I went out and bought What to Expect While Expecting (http://www.whattoexpect.com/) and Your Pregnancy Week by Week(http://www.yourpregnancybook.com/)  and looked at them constantly. They were both amazing books to have and I would/have given the advice to friends to read them but no book is going to tell you what google does (http://www.google.com/).

     While I was pregnant I was constantly googling. I googled on if I would die, if I had a c section what would the outcome look like, could they drug me up as much as possible, what every kick, stretch and pull was, what to do if my water broke, what dialation looked like, the list goes on for ages. The sad thing is that nobody warned me not to google. I googled like crazy and one night started crying. My husband asked me what was wrong and I told him I did not want the Red Ring of Fire. He just stared at me for a minute and said "it's okay, the x-box will be back soon." This made me cry harder. My husbands x-box happened to have the "Red Ring of Death" and he was waiting for it to come back. By the way ladies, if the worst thing your husband does is play x-box, let him. He wandered around like a lost puppy dog the whole two weeks it was gone. Anyways, as I sat there crying my husband wanted an explanation so I had to tell him it was what ladies call it when they are crowning and thier va-j-j is crowning. My husband is not a man of many words so instead he blocked me from googling anything else. Little did he know that I had already googled every last tid bit about child birth that I could and repeatedly told him how down there was going to tear, I was going to die, and he would be stuck as a single dad. I went to the hospital when I didn't know what was going on just to be told everything was fine. There were times when I felt no movement for two hours and was convinced that something was wrong. It wasn't.

     Our little boy Kaden was born on Sept. 1st of 2009. The little guy was ten days late and he wanted to stay in mommys belly forever so they had to induce labor. When I got to the maternity ward and settled into my bed I heard this high pitched wail from the room next to me and was convinced the lady was going to die. I asked the nurse and she told me that is what happens when you do not use drugs. More power to the people who don't but god made them so I will take them. The lady in the next room confirmed that I wanted every drug possible. As labor came on my mom and step-dad came, my brother, his crazy ex girlfriend, my aunt, my uncle, and my two best friends. After about ten hours none of us had anything to talk about and so they just stared at me like a circus animal about to do tricks. Finally, the doc came in and turned off my pitocen for four hours so that I could sleep and everyone went home. Everyone came back the next day and it was back to staring. I got my epidural and really, ladies, you have nothing to worry about. The worst part about getting my epidural was that I was paralyzed from the waist down and couldn't control my gas so there we were, the whole family quiet, with my farts to fill the silence. Most ladies know that pregnant gas is far worse then regular gas but don't worry, it's normal (google again). By fourty hours of labor my doctor came in and told me I was swelling back up so baby would not come out on his own. We had to have a c-section. I was terrified. I remember laying there, shaking, knowing I was going to die, and scared out of my mind. Kaden was born shortly after and with the first cry I knew that everything was going to be just fine. It took awhile to recover but finally our little boy had arrived.

     I am not going to go into every detail after because this is already a long blog. I had nurses at the hospital who tried to show me how to breast feed by shoving my breasts all over the place. I wanted to cry, my husband laughed, baby cried because he was hungry and when they told me it was time to go home I did not know what I was in for. However, I can tell you, it is so worth it. If you have the right guy in your life (I will share a blog on Teen Mom shortly) then it is so worth it (even if you are a single mom........but prepared). There is no way to describe the feeling of seeing your baby come into the world. I finally understood what my mom went through raising us on her own. My lfe since Kaden was born has changed tremendously and I thank god every day for givng me an amazing son. I won't lie, there are times that I want to pull my hair out and scream at the top of my lungs but it's all a part of being a mom.

     Three months after Kaden was born we became pregnant again. I am due wtih our little girl in Nov. and we have no idea what we are in for. That is the reason for me beginning to blog. Some of my stories will make you cry, some will make you laugh, and some will be unbelieveable but it's my story and I want it to touch everyone out there, men, women, children, moms, sister, wives, brothers, friends. I am a writer at heart and I hope that by writing this it will reach out and make someone smile, laugh or cry with me. Please follow along on this journey with me and allow me to be a part of your life.


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